15 October 2006 COLLEGE! A Primer to the NESCAC Schools - Part Dva

This is the second part in an 11-part series. Read the introduction to Part I if you have any questions.

Part the Second: Bates College



College name: Bates College and not the hotel.

College mascot: Some sort of a cat — fisher cat, polecat, pussy...cat...

School motto: "Do you smell that? No? Well it wasn't me!"

Number of students: 1,673 on campus: 829 males, 855 females *we know that these numbers don't add up – we tried several times with different calculators – but adding was never something that Bates students had a high aptitude for.

Location: Lewiston, "the armpit of" Maine

Price (2006-07): $42,100 (does not include the decades of therapy most Bates students will have to endure).


Founded in 1855, Bates was incorporated by Maine abolitionists, an obvious and self-evident response to Kentucky being founded as a slave state. For that reason Bates is often referred to as the "Kentucky of the North" and has the incest to prove it. Fun fact! 80% of Bates students end up marrying one another. We suppose it gets to the point when you conclude you can't do any better and take what you can get. While many colleges have just recently done away with the Greek system, Bates boasts never having had fraternities or sororities, stating that "on principle, all student organizations are open to all." This type of openness is also reflected in their admissions department.


1. Leave.

2. Learn how to play with statistics! e.g.

What they say: "The percentage of students engaged in study abroad is among the highest in the nation: 70 percent of members of the Class of 2003 earned credit for study abroad at some point in their college experience." - Bates webpage

What it means: after two years at Bates, almost 3/4 of the students want out and are willing to go to places like Africa, Australia, Antarctica, France, Western Europe, and even Canada to do so.


Bates prides itself on the connection it has with the Lewiston community, stating on its website that: "Bates is one of the top ten employers in the Lewiston/Auburn area, so you have to be nice to us, suckas!"

Other ways to get involved include trying to clean up Lewiston (good luck!), getting in knife fights with townies, and working with professors who mentor youth sports, volunteer with nonprofits, and sell crack to the local kids! (*a great way to supplement that professorial income, be it noted!)